Lonely
by XQR
Summary: The Death Eaters make a Lonely remix and sing it to Voldemort.


A/N: Well I was thinking about Harry Potter, listening to Lonely and changing the words a bit… Now, prepare for the Lonely Remix – Harry Potter style!!!

This is Lonely by Akon.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Lonely…

Lonely

Voldemort was just lounging around with his Death Eaters. It was December and Voldemort was counting down the months until it would be time for his next battle with Harry… None of the Death Eaters seemed to mind the fact that not much was happening. _How boring…_Voldemort thought.

**Lonely, he's Mr Lonely**

**He had no _body_**

**For his own**

**He's so lonely, he's Mr Lonely**

**He had no _body_**

**For his own**

**He's so lonely**

Voldemort spun round and looked at Lucius, Bellatrix, Snape, Wormtail and some others.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?" he yelled at them. Wormtail wet his pants.

"Your song!" Lucius said.

"_My_ song!?" Voldemort was confused, he'd never even heard of it before…

"Yeah…we made it for you. All of the words were changed to suit you." Bellatrix explained.

The next day they were on a bus. The Death Eaters were sat on the back seats looking like a bunch of bad teenagers.

**Yo, This one goes out to our evil lord Voldie**

**Ya know got that one good enemy who's always been there**

**Ya know took all your bullshit**

**Then one day he can't take it no more and decides to leave**

Voldemort just shook his head and felt ashamed as everyone on the bus turned to look. He got off at the next stop to escape the embarrassment. He'd only made it worse though, he'd got off in the middle of the city where there was loads of people…

**He woke up in the middle of the night and noticed his Harry wasn't by his side**

**Could've sworn he was dreaming**

**For him he was feening**

**So he had to take a little ride**

**Backtracking over these few years**

**Trying to figure out what he'd done to make it go bad, cuz**

**Ever since Harry left him**

**His whole life came crashing**

At this point he turned round and had his wand pointing at them.

"Come on my lord, we're only trying to cheer you up." Bellatrix said.

"Whatever." Voldemort said. Some of the Death Eaters high fived each other. Then as Voldemort walked into ASDA, hoping to terrorise a few kids…

**He's so lonely (so lonely)**

**He's Mr Lonely (Mr Lonely)**

**He had no _body _(he had no _body_)**

**For his own (to call his own) boy**

Great, they'd started to echo each other.

"That's gay! You lot don't sound scary using those squeaky voices! LOOK! The kids aren't scared, they're laughing! YOU'RE RUINING MY REPUTATION!!! I'LL RUIN YOUR BODIES IN A MINUTE!!!" Voldemort yelled at them.

"EEW! That didn't sound…" Narcissa began.

"I DON'T CARE WHAT IT SOUNDED LIKE!!! IT MEANT YOU'D BE DEAD!!!!! LEAVE! LET ME GET ON WITH KILLING THESE KIDS!!!!!!" he pointed to the door. The Death Eaters slowly walked to the door, whilst they were walking so slowly they started up again.

**He's so lonely (so lonely)**

**He's Mr Lonely (Mr Lonely)**

**He had no _body_****(he had no _body_)**

**For his own (to call his own) boy**

Once they were outside Voldemort wrecked havoc inside by killing the innocent. The Death Eaters had their faces pressed to the glass.

"LET US IN!!! IT'S COLD!!!!!" Lucius yelled. Voldemort let them inside, but he insisted that they wait upstairs…which happened to be the electronics department… They each grabbed a microphone…

**Never thought that he'd be alone**

**He didn't hope that Harry would be gone this long**

**He just wants you to call his phone?**

**So stop playing Harry and come and fight (come and fight)**

**Harry he didn't mean to shout**

**He wants you and him to work it out**

**He never wished he'd hurt you Harry**

**And we're driving him crazy cuz…**

_Well, that last line's certainly true… _Voldemort thought. He grabbed some headache pills and headed out. The Death Eaters noticed his absence and hastily followed him out. He walked through Knockturn alley, keeping his hood up, trying not to draw attention to himself. But everyone knew that he was there, thanks to a bunch of Death Eaters.

**He's so lonely (so lonely)**

**He's Mr Lonely (Mr Lonely)**

**He has no nosey (no nosey)**

**All on his own (on his own) **

"HOW _DARE_ YOU!!!" Voldemort yelled in the middle of Knockturn alley. "Don't ever insult me and my nose!!!!!!!!!!" Obviously this was a big issue for Voldemort… Some of the Death Eaters couldn't help but smile and giggle. They thought that this was one of the best lines…no nose…classic!

Once Voldemort seemed to have calmed down they began…

**He's so lonely (so lonely)**

**He's Mr Lonely (Mr Lonely)**

**He has no _body _(no _body_)**

**For his own (to call his own) boy**

Then they noticed the steam coming out of their lord's ears and the vein pulsing on his head. They stopped without being asked. Surely Voldemort would turn round and kill one of them soon… Or perhaps he hadn't yet because he secretly liked them singing about him…?

Once they arrived back at their headquarters they decided it was time for the last verse.

**Lonely, so lonely**

**So lonely (so lonely)**

**Mr Lonely, so lonely**

**So lonely, so lonely, (so lonely), Mr Lonely**

Voldemort gave them all a look that they called the 'evil eye'. But, actually, in the last verse they hadn't said anything about him really…

"Who thought that up???" he asked, raising his wand. They all pointed at each other…

A/N: The end. Actually, I thought that was one of my best… You decide, please review, don't keep it to yourself…there's a box that says submit review, click it and tell me your thoughts. Please!


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